WEEK ONE.

Welcome to the first week of the Discover your Creative Squeak. Over the next ten weeks I hope you will take what you need from my creative journey to spark your own! We are diving straight in – you can download this chapter to read later here, just keep reading for this weeks content or you can do both!

download chapter one of DYCS here⇨

INTRODUCTION:MY STORY

DISCOVERING MY CREATIVE SQUEAK – How I went from thinking I couldn’t to I can!

Before we begin our journey together I felt I should tell you a little about me; who I am, and why I believe that everyone can explore and create and discover their creative squeak.

Hello! I am Kirstin McCulloch but I am also known as ‘the queen mama’ by my kids, and as LilliBean Designs in the art world.

Today I am a 40ish year old who lives in central west NSW. I tell my kids that I am only turning 25 but alas they can’t cope with the idea that I can be any age I want to be 😉

I am married to Mac, who I met playing basketball in my first week away at university. He wasn’t in mylife plan that early, (or at all at that stage!) but I can’t imagine my life if we hadn’t played basketball that day! (Although like in any marriage, sometimes I can totally imagine it!!)

We have three beautiful girls – Bean the eldest, Bug, the classic middle child, and the wee Beastie, our changeling baby. They are a massive inspiration for my paintings and collectively they are known around the Internet as the terrible trio! (Which by the way they adore their nickname!)

I also am:

* a compulsive list maker – I have five lists going right now!

* a stationary junkie (I once worked in the stationary department of a major department store – I was like a sugar addict in a candy store! My weekly paycheck was often spent before I actually cashed it!)

* a romance novel addict

* a vivid dreamer, I laugh, cry, shout + have slapped Mac in my sleep

* very likely a bad wife. I don’t care too much about having meals on the table at 6pm, clothes pressed + away, and the cobwebs are like decorative ribbons these days!

* a driver who dances in the car singing at the top of her lungs (with three backup dancers + vocalists in the back!)

* a introvert by nature, but an extrovert when surrounded by her peeps

* a drop of the hat crier. (I am ok with this, but it can make others so uncomfortable)

And I am now very proud to call myself an artist, but it took a long time before I was comfortable calling myself that and for a very long time I felt like a complete fraud! And this is all part of my creative story….

DISCOVERING MY CREATIVE SQUEAK…

Once upon a time, in rural NSW, Australia, there was a girl who loved to draw. LOVED. IT.

And she loved it so much that she drew all the time.

One day in school her teacher had the class draw a native animal. It didn’t matter what the animal wasbut it had to be a native and they had to draw it from their imagination.

So the little girl drew her animal, but she wasn’t happy with it. So she erased it. And again and again she would draw it, and erase it. She just wasn’t happy with any of the drawings. When the classstood up one by one to share their drawings with the whole class she had nothing but a wrinkled and smudged piece of paper.

She ended up having to stay in at lunchtime a draw her animal, which really upset her because she never got into trouble, so crying, embarassed and hungry, she found a book with native animals and drew her animal.

She was eight, and she told herself she couldn’t draw good enough from her imagination she needed a picture.

But she kept drawing, because after all she LOVED IT.

One day she won a prize for her art, first place in the whole year! But she had copied it straight from a book – line for line, colour for colour. It wasn’t original. Nothing was unique about it and she felt ashamed and like a fraud.

She was twelve, and she reinforced the thought that she couldn’t draw from her own imagination,but if she was an excellent copier!

But because she loved art so much she continued – she looked forward to every art period in high school.It would totally piss her off when they had to do art theory – she just wanted to create!

One day she had to make her own piece of indigenous art. She was so excited about this. So she drew her big-eyed turtle, and used pink and aqua and purple and blue. It wasn’t very traditional, but it was her interpretation of indigenous art. She nearly failed that assignment because it wasn’t a “traditional” art work

She was fourteen and she thought if you challenged the art ‘rules’ you would totally fail.

She finally finished school. Her careers advisor told her being an artist wasn’t a real job – to get a super market job. Her grades weren’t good enough for any university degree anyway.

But she worked hard and her super supportive art teacher wrote an amazing referral and she was asked to interview at a local university for a graphic design degree which was an acceptable way to be an artist.

However she didn’t realize that her portfolio should have be in a glossy black folder (not a handmade onethat she’d spent two days collaging), or that the work should be cohesive and not a mismatch of ideas and thoughts. And she didn’t realize that she would have to sit there answering the panel’s questions while they looked through and judged her portfolio in front of her.

To this day she can’t remember the questions asked or the answers she stumbled through. When she walkedout of that interview in tears, she thought to her very soul that she had failed her only chance of being an artist.

She was eighteen and from that moment on she shelved her dreams of being an artist. Because she believed the stories she had told herself.

She packed her pencils away, hid her portfolio out of sight, met Mac, earned a degree, and then she and Mac moved to the city where she took a job she hated because what else could he do?

Fast-forward thirteen years.

This girl is now a woman. She is now living on an island in Scotland. She and Mac are married and they are now expecting their first baby

At times during her life she would hear little ‘squeaks’ – random thoughts or whispers, telling her she should pick up her pencils again. But she always ignored them

But she’s pregnant and had been thinking a lot! The usual thoughts that most first time parents ask themselves; what kind of parent was she going to be? What kind of family would they make? And holy freaking hell, how was this baby going to get out?

AND the squeaks became louder than the usual whisper.

Once they welcomed their gorgeous, but slightly wrinkled Bean into the world she had even more time on her hands to think. During late night feedings, nappy changing, between naps, she was again wondering how she was going to encourage this gorgeous child of theirs to grow into an amazing woman and be anything she wanted to be.

And the squeaks became a roar!

She realized she wanted Bean, and then Bug and finally Beastie to chase their dreams no matter how wild, to live a full life filled with their hearts desires and to be unlimited.

She thought about what she wanted to do. What she would do if she was unlimited and realised that all she wanted to do was be an artist.

So she started playing, she started making marks in her little notebook she carted around with her everywhere. She started learning and relearning, and she realised she had a lot of bullshit stories she needed to sort out in her own head.

She became more confident and tried new things, she started a blog and shared her creations and then put them up for sale.

Slowly she sunk into her true creative self. And slowly when she was asked, “what do you do?” she changed “I’m just a mum” to “I am an artist”

Fast forward to the now.

My greatest wish is to share with the world that you too can be creative. You can make and create. You can reach for your dreams along side me.

I believe it. I live it. You can to.

WEEK ONE: beginnings & endings

“All endings are also beginnings.
We just dont know it at the time”

~ Mitch Albom

So after my creative spirit felt like it was destroyed forever, I spent the next 15(ish!) years pretending that my greatest desire to be an artist was just a childish dream.

But during that time my creative squeak would often whisper to me that I could be creative too and ended up roaring and stamping her feet just like a toddler, trying to have me notice her.

And I wonder if you’ve realised that your creative squeak has probably been trying to capture your attention for a while now.

When you decided to join the Discovering your Creative Squeak workshops how many times did you hover over the download button before you did. Or downloaded it but forgot about it until later.

But look at you! You’ve pressed purchase, and not only that you’ve read the first couple of pages! WHOOOP!

Sometimes, the hardest thing you can do is just open the first page of the book and start.

And now that you’ve decided to take that brave leap and listen to your creative squeak, what do you do now? And how the hell do you start? Which books should you read? What supplies should you buy? Should you enroll in a course? Lessons? Who do you ask for advice?

If you have Googled anything like “beginning a creative journey” you’ve probably been overwhelmed by the millions upon millions of resources that seem to be available.

I didn’t have a freaking clue. I was totally overwhelmed and to be totally honest the first couple of times I shut the search down and decided that being creative wasn’t actually for me!

I actually began by scrapbooking – it was an easy and safe way to flex my creative muscles. But in the end I ran into the same problems. I didn’t know what to buy, so I bought a heap of crap that was lost somewhere in our move back to Australia from Scotland.

I didn’t know what books to read, so I borrowed and bought heaps of books on creativity, that I never read past page two and the ones I bought mostly now sit on my shelves gathering dust!

Once we moved back home, I didn’t have the space or the money to be creative so I was forced to make do. But I ran into the same problem I had when I was scrapbooking – some of the resources and supplies were fantastic and others were a total waste of money.

So I started with an ugly notebook, and a small box with a pen, a pencil, a sharpie and a glue stick.

I also had my local library, the Internet and a flickr account (this was before the pinterest revolution!!)

AND In the end I took bits and pieces from everything.

‘Discovering your Creative Squeak’ is the culmination and expansion of all the things that helped me on my journey.

And like I did, I encourage you to take bits and pieces from this course – use it like any other resource. Because what worked for me may not work entirely for you

There are no right or wrong ways to begin your creative journey there is just a beginning and an end

YOU JUST NEED TO BEGIN NOW!

Each week is designed to build on the past weeks and to be a natural progression from the last, but remember I am not a ‘colour inside the box’ kinda girl, so mix it up a bit if that works better for you.

This is about YOU listening to YOUR creative squeak. Not to mine

SO TUNE IN AND LISTEN!

SO HOW DOES THIS WORK?

I’ve tried really hard to make this course one which is both practical and fun. Each week we will talk about a barrier, which was stopping me from reaching my creative dream – and I will share with you, the exercises that helped me overcome resistance and barriers.

Each week we will do a little reflection, a little action and a little fun.

Reflection is a journaling-based activity. Writing is a second love of mine and to this day I subscribe to Julia Cameron’s morning pages theory. I find reflection and journaling clarifies and focuses me daily.

However if this method isn’t for you I have other alternatives for you to try!

You can download the Journaling extras pdf for more methods and ways to use journaling in your daily practices.

Action will be a little activity to gently nudge you out of your neat and tidy square. Nothing to painful I promise. These will help you break through decision paralysis and negative thinking that often lead to us hanging up the gloves (or in our case our pencils!!).

And Fun? Well it’s just as the label advertises! They are fun little projects! I am not asking you to create a masterpiece in our first weeks! It’s smooshing paint; making collages, gluing stuff down. Making marks, with our hands becoming dirty and having fun.

In each chapter there will be a bonus ‘little bitch buster’ (or LBB) My little bitch is what I have called my inner critic or my negative thoughts – thoughts that make you feel like you are not worthy, not enough, not perfect, not capable. And my inner voice sounds just like the mean girl from high school

REMEMBER that this is based on my creative journey and my roadblock, so maybe some weeks won’t resonate as strongly with you. During those weeks skip the reflection exercises (or substitute them for something else you are struggling with) and join in on the fun and action exercises.

Sounds fairly straightforward right?

Well there is just one, one VERY important thing… To make the most of this book and invite creativity into your life, you must WANT it!

Sorry there is no one to chase you up or hold you accountable or tisk his or her head in disappointment.

YOU have to want to do this. You have to make some time. You may not believe in the outcome 100% yet, but I ask that you trust the process.

And before you throw this book on the shelf, let me tell you a little secret. You’ve got this!

You can uncover your creative squeak. You can help it grow and thrive. I know you can. I know you can because I did. And if I can so can you!

Lets just jump into this week and start thinking about our beginnings and closing the door on that time where we’ve shut out and ignored out creative squeaks!

WHAT ACTUAL SUPPLIES DO YOU NEED YOUR CREATIVE JOURNEY?

Not a lot. In fact you probably have many of these items in your home already.

I don’t want you to spend a fortune on supplies that will end up in a box gathering dust like my unfortunate scrapbooking materials. You can do that later!

And I don’t want you to use expensive supplies as an excuse not to start because you can’t afford the ‘right’ tools or they are too ‘precious’ to use because they cost so much.

To this day I believe that you don’t have to have expensive supplies to create, even now that I am more established I don’t spend a lot of money on art supplies. One of my favorite paints was $2 from the discount store and it’s such a luscious color that I use it in most of my paintings!

There are however some essential supplies that you will need.

A NOTEBOOKA cheap,A5 or A4 sized notebook.
Lined or not – it doesn’t matter, if fact it is better if it has some kind of lines/ grid in it rather than a blank page.
By the way – the uglier, and cheaper the better. But if possible make sure it is hard covered
A PEN.It can be a ballpoint pen or a fine pigment liner, felt tip pen. Again, don’t spend a lot of money on this. Any pen will do, but one that actually flows properly while you’re writing is best.
A ballpoint pen from the jar next to the phone is great.
PAINT
They don’t have to match or be color wheel complimentary, just one or two colors that make you smile.
Grab your paints from the discount store.
GLUEI prefer a glue stick just because it fits into a small pencil case that I carry around in my bag plus it doesn’t leak anywhere! But a small PVA/ school glue bottle or similar is fine
SCISSORS!Just a small pair of scissors is fine
Again the discount store is great for finding these on the cheap

Things you don’t need but if you have them lying around the house awesome – put them in a box and we can use them later!

Crayons
Colored markers/ textas or similar
Colored pencils
Gel pens.
A small pencil case to keep everything together

And all you really need for your first week is your notebook and your pen!!

WEEK ONE: CREATIVE EXERCISES

A QUICK NOTE ABOUT THE EXERCISES EACH WEEK.

Unless I have specifically stated otherwise, please do not use the first and last couple of pages in your notebook.

In fact I encourage you to use random pages most of the time!

Also before you start your reflection exercise I would suggest reading the JOURNALING PRACTICES (appendix i found at the end of this chapter) which takes you through a couple of different ways that I love to journal. You can use any of these, a combination, or your own when you are journaling over the next 10 weeks.

1.1 REFLECTION: Your Creative Squeak.

Time: 5 -10 minutes Equipment: A quiet space

While you are reading over this chapter have you been reflecting on your own creative squeak and where and when it has popped up in your life?

Spend five minutes now remembering some of the times it whispered to you. What has your Creative Squeak been trying to tell you? Is it a loud voice or just a flutter of a whisper? When does your creative squeak pipe up? While your reading a magazine? Watching TV? Driving to work? Exercising? Meditating? Grocery shopping?

When do you hear that little whisper in your heart “I wish I could do that” or “I really, really would love to do that”?

For instance, I remember walking through the weekly markets in Sydney and looking at all the beautiful art and craft stalls. I remember thinking I wish I had just half a little fingernail of talent that some of these amazing artisans had. And I remember hearing a very small whisper emanating from my soul. “Wouldn’t be awesome if I could do that….” There was no way I was ready to acknowledge or even act on those whispers so I immediately dismissed it.

What about you? When have you heard your creative squeak?

Set a timer for five minutes, open up your notebook to a random page and write it down.

Alternatively download the ‘listening to your squeaks’ pdf here ⇨

OTHER JOURNALING TECHNIQUES HERE⇨

Don’t worry if at the end of this exercise you have a blank page – I often found that during the week at random times the answers would pop up and the memories would resurface.

Little Bitch Buster:

Maybe you can’t remember hearing any squeaks, or you having trouble thinking of what to write and have been looking at a blank page for the last five minutes?

Don’t worry – this has happened to me more times than I can count!

So tried this instead.

If nothing came to mind, I would write down this sentence:

“I can’t remember when I would hear my squeak, but I know I have heard it.”

When you do remember over the coming week return to that page and write it down.

Alternatively try this:

Write down “I haven’t heard my squeak but I know I WILL” and when you do hear it in the future return to this page and add to you list.

1.2 ACTION: The Baby Egg Project.

Time: One week Equipment: Your Creative Squeak notebook

Did you ever do that school experiment, the one where you had to carry an egg around with you for a week like it was your baby? You had to bring it to school, make sure it was safely in bed, or arrange a baby sitter if you couldn’t take the egg with you?

For the next week this notebook is now your baby egg. So grab your Creative Squeak notebook and carry it with you for a week. Stick it in your handbag, your book bag, your briefcase, or your nappy bag.

Remember: TAKE YOUR NOTEBOOK EVERYWHERE WITH YOU!

Pull it out and just sit with it, become used to the weight of it in your hands, turn the pages. Every time you grab your car keys, grab your notebook. Every time you come home place your notebook somewhere you’ll see it.

Set a reminder in your phone to take it with you or to spend a few minutes working on it.

Unlike my Baby Egg, which unfortunately didn’t make it past day three when my brother trod on her while babysitting for the measly sum of 50 cents, please don’t be precious with it.

Toss it around, sit on it, step on it and batter it up!

ACTUALLY, lets do that now!

1.3 FUN: Jump UP and DOWN.

Time: One minute Equipment: Your Creative Squeak notebook

Here is your very, VERY, important first step.

Grab your notebook now and throw it on the floor. Open to a random spot and jump up and down on it now.

RIGHT NOW!

1.4 FUN: Mess up your Notebook some more!

Time: 10 minutes Equipment: Your creative squeak notebook + a pen.

So we’ve jumped on our notebook, but that isn’t enough, We need to make sure your notebook isn’t blank any more and that it’s roughed up a little bit.

There are several ways you can do this.  

Grab your paint and smoosh some paint over the page – a little or a lot it doesn’t matter!
Give your notebook + pen to your kids and ask them to draw you something on one of the pages.
Open your book up and use it as a coaster for your coffee, wine or soda.
Have your dog sit on it.
Rub it in the dirt.

I had my Wee Beastie scribble in mine!

Now your ugly notebook is no longer perfectly blank and pristine and is really ready for you to use!

Little Bitch Buster
“You can’t possibly mess up this notebook by treating it so carelessly!”

Most of us were taught from a very early age to respect books and treat them carefully. Don’t draw on that! Stop ripping that! Etc!

Treating my notebook so shabbily went against everything I had ever been taught. I had to actually asked Mac to give the book to our Wee Beastie (18 months at the time!) to draw in.

And this was acceptable to my Little Bitch because I had some one else do it for me. If you are struggling to rough up your journal ask a trusted family member or friend to deface your notebook for you.

1.5 FUN: Remember what this notebook is for!

Time: 10 minutes Equipment: Your notebook, glue and scissors.

Sometimes I would struggle to remember how I was supposed to use my notebook and became far to precious about it.

So I ended up writing a little affirmation as to what my Squeak notebook was and wasn’t for.

Print this out and glue/ tape it in the very front cover (not the front page) of your journal to remind you of what this journal is to be used for.

PRINT THIS AFFIRMATION HERE ⇨

OR if you’re feeling inspired write your own affirmations regarding your book. Decorate it however you feel inspired to.

AND CONGRATULATIONS! You have made it to the end of week one! I look forward to seeing what you did with this notebook this week (feel free to share on the facebook group!) Next week we will be looking at our WHY’s + your creative stories!

DOWNLOADS FROM THIS CHAPTER:

CHAPTER ONE PDF | LISTENING TO YOUR SQUEAKS PDF

JOURNALING TECHNIQUES PDF | AFFIRMATION JPG