· A . 2 0 2 4 . U P D A T E ·
On my morning walks, I often have a random thought that feels inspired. Whether it’s an idea for a painting, how to improve the flow of our lives, or solving a problem one of the kids may have. These have the same feeling as shower thoughts – you know when you are washing your hair and resolving the last fight you had with elegance and humour! It’s always a big mic-drop moment.
Anyway, last November, I passed a line of gum trees mid-way through their yearly shedding. The old bark had died off and was falling in strips to the ground revealing a vibrant green skin that was a startling contrast against the summer’s sunburnt brown landscapes.
I stopped to take some photos (of course I did!), itching to capture the contrast of colours for later when I hit the studio, when it occurred to me in that very moment I also felt like I was ‘shedding’ too.
A few weeks before this day, a customer (who I now consider a friend), and I were talking about inner work and self-belief. We’d moved on to other topics, she was telling me all about what she had discovered at the market and was heading off for a free massage. As she was leaving she turned back, stared me dead in the eyes, and said to me “Imagine what you could do if you knew that you could do anything. Because you can you know, do anything”
Imagine what I could do if I KNEW I could do anything.
She believed I could. I just needed to believe that I could too. That single sentence has stayed with me, replaying in my mind ever since. It was almost like I had been given her permission.
Imagine what I could do if I KNEW I could do anything.
So the shedding of the gum trees a few weeks later felt like a huge flashing neon green sign, that this was the time to shed off own my dying bark.
That I needed to shed fully old thoughts and stories. To fully shed limiting beliefs. To shed things, habits and yes people that no longer fit me. To shed the skins of the Kirstin who was.
And I knew at that moment, my 2024 word of the year had found me.
But, (and there always seems to be a ‘but’ with them), I had a big problem with the word shed. It’s a harsh ugly word, it’s gritty and real in a way that none of my other ones had been. Shed. Shedding. SHED. It’s guttural and feels aggressive. And I kinda hated it!
Maybe it felt too harsh, too aggressive, too raw. It was only after I sat with the word for a little bit that I realised that it had to be gritty, and harsh, and raw. (I am still not sure about the aggressive part though….)
Because whenever I think about shedding the old dead parts of me, that’s how it feels. Gritty, harsh and raw.
So in the end I accepted my unsexy, inelegant, word of the year, which still feels like I am shouting every time I say it, and I am currently leaning in, letting go and learning some truths about myself.
I know that come November when I see the bark shedding off the trees, I too will remember my shedding, and think about what old and dried-up bark I need to shed next.
I would love to know what your word of the year is for 2024, if you have one. Hit reply and share it with me.
P.S. Fun fact, when I had this aha moment, I opened up my phone’s note app and hit the microphone button to record my thoughts. As I read over that note today, I realised that Siri autocorrected shedding with shitting….maybe Siri knows me far too well…!
